Saturday, August 14, 2010

Thursday, July 1, 2010

Be Still My Heart

Yes, I have a heart, regardless of what some people may think.  I'm sure, because today it has raced on three different occasions.  Without exercising!

First occasion was when I sat down to eat a sandwich and read the paper.  Music is blaring from the bathroom, where hubs is shaving and preparing for work.  TV is on to hear weather reports, general household sounds, then, poof, sudden darkness and silence, except for my heart racing.  Can't begin to explain how much I hate being without power!  Not here, not in summer, not in this heat.  It wasn't even storming, though "Alex" has been the topic of conversation for days.  Recollections of "Ike" and being without power for days, comes to mind.  Called the power company to report it and they said a line was down and would be back up, soon.  Thank goodness, now I could relax.

Second occasion was while talking to my daughter on the phone.  Small talk mostly, until out of the blue she screams... "OhmyGodmomI'mgonnahaftacallyouback!"  Click, silence, except for my heart, once again, racing.  Since she is the mother of two of my granddaughters, I panic, thinking one of them must be hurt.  After a bit, she calls back to tell me that someone had come barreling down the street (she lives in the curve) and hit her neighbors mailbox and gone up in the yard.  Luckily it was raining and the children that usually play outside, were tucked away, safe and sound.

I explained that if she ever has to let me go like that again, PLEASE manage to work in "it'snotthekids" so I won't have a heart attack.  She apologized profusely and agreed.

Third occasion was trying to contact my son.  He is out of town, (in Corpus Christi) to train his new assistant.  He called late Monday saying the law firm had been contemplating closing down and sending him home, due to the impending weather issues.  After hearing the hurricane wasn't supposed to be very strong, they decided to stay open and proceed with business as usual.  When I didn't hear from him by 10pm, I decided to call and check.  No answer.  He knows I was worried about him being there with a storm nearby.  He said he would keep me posted and I don't know what to think.  I'm trying hard to convince myself that if something had happened, somebody would have contacted me.  Now, if I could just convince my heart to stop racing.  

I'm exhausted from the internal calisthenics!  This is not my idea of a workout routine.  To think, after all this... my butt won't be any smaller, and the only six pack will still be found in the fridge and I hate beer!   

Sunday, June 27, 2010

A Real Man

Couldn't resist passing on an email I received from a friend.  Inspirational words deserve to be shared.

A real man is a woman's best friend.  He will never stand her up and never let her down.   He will reassure her when she feels insecure and comfort her after a bad day. 

He will inspire her to do things she never thought she could do; to live without fear and forget regret.  He will enable her to express her deepest emotions and give in to her most intimate desires.  He will make sure she always feels as though she's the most beautiful woman in the room and will enable her to be the most confident, sexy,
seductive, and invincible.

No wait... sorry... I'm thinking of vodka. 
Never mind.

Sunday, June 20, 2010

The Girl Behind The Blog

I had the wonderful pleasure of meeting Kristy @ This Train Of Thought Has Been Derailed.  What a beauty!  Crazy thing was, she didn't seem to be phased one bit by my crazy, old lady ways.  I hope to spend much more time with her, getting to know her better.  I'd even like to adopt her, but don't think her parents would agree.  Thanks for an enjoyable Saturday! 

Would like to wish all the dads out there a Happy Father's Day and to my husband, as well.  Honey, you are a wonderful father... and the kids think so, too!  Sorry you have to spend the day at work.

Oh, and Kristy... next time we'll do Italian!  Find one tall, dark and handsome!  Just kidding.


Thursday, June 10, 2010

Leave A Light On For Me

First, and foremost, thank you all for the kindness and support on my last post.  You all mean the world to me and I count on each of you, in different ways, to get me through each day.  I've come to depend on you, for my fix.  The fix may be a smile, a tear, a photograph, or the ability to evoke a memory that has been dormant and thought forgotten.  Don't know what I would do without you.

Yesterday's post was a direction I swore to myself I didn't want to take with my blog.  It's a side of me that I prefer to keep hidden, something I'm unable to hide, in real life.  Laugh and the world laughs with you, cry and you'll cry alone.  People in my real life are subjected to my depression and I'll be darned if I want that for you.

I was diagnosed with depression many years ago.  I've spent more than half my life struggling with it.  After more than a decade, I finally agreed to take medication and, while it helped with mood, the side effects were more than I could deal with.  Each new side effect was treated with yet another medication, which caused another side effect that warranted another pill and another hassle with insurance, as well as an added expense.  I did it for 10 years.  As it is, I'm the main reason my husband doesn't retire.  Our insurance cost will be astronomical, not counting the cost of prescription medication.  This man has worked his entire adult life with the expectation of being able to retire and live comfortably and I honestly don't know how that's going to happen.  I do know that I hate the thought of being tied to a lifetime of medication and exorbitant insurance premiums.  So, for the past few years, I've only agreed to use medication to lower my cholesterol.  Yes, I need medication for the depression, but refuse to climb back on the medication merry-go-round.  Instead, I will continue to do the one thing I'm good at and that is to be an encourager to others.  Ashley refers to me as a cheerleader.  Thanks, sweetie, I like that!  Let me be your cheerleader and you continue to provide the fix I need.  Hopefully, the insurance company doesn't start charging for it.

I apologize for not emailing comment responses on the last post.  It's something I try to be faithful with, but typing and crying are two things and I can't multitask.  It sucks to throw a pity party and be a lousy hostess!  You throw the next one, I'll bring my pompoms.  Rah, rah, rah! 

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Six Months Down The Drain

Six whole months of taking a medication that hasn't done anything.  What a waste.  Should have suspected it wasn't doing much, since there were very few side effects.  Sometimes I wonder why I bother.  To think, after all the hassle with the insurance to cover this one, when they were more than willing to cover the ones that kicked my butt, but did manage to keep my cholesterol under control and only cost me five bucks.

Can't begin to explain how excited I am to start a new one!  NOT!  Wish I could suffer through the side effects to get my depression under control.  Can't do it!  Have you seen the commercial for "Intervention" where the girl says - "I love life, just not MY life".  That's sums up the way I'm feeling.  

Sorry for ranting, but sometimes you just have to get it out, before it consumes you.  Don't feel obligated to comment just because you are a loyal follower.  I understand that sometimes there are just no words.  Thanks so much for listening.  

I shall now try to do what I do best, which is read and comment to all of you.  Keep up the good work, I count on living vicariously, through your posts.

Monday, May 31, 2010

Memorial Day

My father lived through his service to our country and was awarded his medal personally.  Many did not.  To the brave men and women who lost their lives defending our freedom, Thank You!


Friday, May 28, 2010

Pat and Pipper

I should know better than to try to read and comment, before doing a post!  You'd think I would have learned by now.  Before another day goes by, I would like to thank Pat Tillett @ Extremely Overdue, for the wonderful award!  This man continues to amaze me with his ability to write.  For someone who has endured the struggles of a childhood like his, to not be bitter and mad at the world, is a true testament to a good man.  When he writes, a reader can truly feel the words.  I feel honored and blessed to be a part of his world, through his posts.  (and his photography is awesome)

Thank you, Pat!

I would also like to wish a "Happy Birthday to Pipper" my granddaughter that is turning 8, today.  Granny and Pop Pop love you very much and hope you enjoy your camping trip!  See you soon!

Saturday, May 22, 2010

This Could Take A While...

The wonderful Jimmy, over at Jimmy's Opinion, has graciously bestowed me with the Versatile Blogger Award.  He is one awesome guy and a gentleman, to boot.  I simply adore reading his stories!  If you haven't had the pleasure to meet him, please drop in and say hello. 

Following the rules of this award I have to give you seven tidbits about myself that you may not know.  Pass the award to 15 bloggers.   (I'm doing 8)

1.  I am the worlds biggest procrastinator.
2.  I have a loud voice.
3.  I am extremely sentimental.
4.  If someone writes a touching post, I will cry like a baby.
5.  I obsess about everything.
6.  I dislike riding in the car.
7.  I wish I had the brains and energy I had when I was younger.

Now I would like to pass this award to the following bloggers:

Stupid Girls

It Only Gets Better

Speaking From The Pew

Sophisticated Lunacy

Our Life And Times On PEI

The Musings Of Almybnenr

The Boogie Man Is My Friend

Life By Chocolate

Amber Lynn at The Musings of Almybnenr has given me the One Lovely Blog Award.  This young gal can best be described as a VORACIOUS READER!  She's a student, with a thirst for books.  She even put up a follow button on Tumblr, because I asked her... how nice is that?  Thank you, Amber!

Now, for the rules!
  1. Accept the award, post it on your blog together with the name of the person who has granted the award and his or her blog link.
  2. Pass the award to other blogs that you’ve newly discovered.
  3. Remember to contact the bloggers to let them know they have been chosen for this award.
And here are the three awesome blogs I’m going to pass the award to:

My Journey My Life

What's The Story Morning Glory

art = long, life = short, success = very far off


Dawn, at what's the story morning glory, has given me the Oh My Blog Award.  She's a wife, mom, daughter, sister and student, homesick for Newfoundland!  Stop in and visit her and make her feel at home.  Thank you Dawn!

Now to uphold the rules of said award, I must.......

1. Get really excited that you got the coolest award EVER!   Whoot!

2. Choose ONE of the following options of accepting the OMB award:
(a) Get really drunk and blog for 15 minutes straight, or for as long as you can focus
(b) Write about your most embarrassing moment.
(c) Write a “Soundtrack of your childhood” post.
(d) Make your next blog a ‘vlog’/video blog. Basically, you’re talking to the camera about whatever.
(e) Take a picture of yourself first thing in the morning, before you do anything else (hair, makeup, etc) and post it.  (anyone that knows anything about me, knows I hate pictures of myself.  In the interest of time, this is the one I'm choosing... here goes!)  Ha!


3. Pass this award onto at least 3 (or more) bloggers.  Don’t forget to tell them.

This one is going to:

Choleesas World

Fashion Plate

Bendigo's Rage

Hartwood Roses


Momma Fargo at The Boogie Man Is My Friend, has given me the Super Comments Award.  Comments are a huge part of feeling like you are truly interacting in the blogosphere and not just being a wart on a pickle.  I love to comment to the blogs I follow and the fact that some of the busy ones, with a huge following, take the time to acknowledge their comments, is amazing.  When they take to time to drop in, read my drivel and leave me a comment... well, that is super special to me!  Momma Fargo is amazing!  She's a cop, a mom to "Bug", a fantastic blogger whether she's making me laugh with cop antics, or cry with a serious post.  She's great!  Thanks, Fargo!

The rules for this award are to answer the following questions:

1. Why do you blog?  I ask myself this all the time and the best reason I can come up with, is the interaction with some wonderful people.

2. What was your favorite age to be and why?  I'd say my 20's.  I was settled, married, having my kids and still had the energy and brains to keep up.

3. What's your favorite sport to play?  Is blogging a sport?  How 'bout babysitting?  I'm old, and don't play sports.

4. What's your favorite sport to watch, and who's your favorite team?  None!  Used to sit through them with hubby, when it netted me a back rub.  Not so much, anymore.

5. If you could pick your perfect career (and money doesn't matter / the kids are out of the house) what would it be?  If I had the brains and energy, I'd love to be an EMT or a paramedic.
6. Do you ever feel guilty for blogging?  All. the. time!

7. What is your favorite holiday?  Any holiday that involves my family and no drama.

8. What's your favorite kind of music?  I don't have favorite, it just depends on the day and the mood.

9. Do you consider yourself a good driver or bad driver?  I'm a very good driver.  I don't do it much, but when I do, I'm great.

10. What's the farthest away place you have visited?  I think maybe Windsor, Canada.

Now I shall pass it on to some of the ones who keep me going...

This Old House 2

Jenny Matlock 

The Chronicles of a Veteran Kindergarten Teacher

Bossy Betty

Our Journey Begins, as The Kings

Jimmy's Opinion

Fourth Grade Nothing


Connie at Hartwood Roses and Karen at This Old House 2, have given me the I Love Your Blog award. 

Connie is a "Rose Wizard" and grows the most amazing antique roses.  Her photos are awesome!  She is much more than I can type out, without drooling on the keyboard and I hate when I drool!  Thank you, Connie!

Karen keeps me in the "sinnin' corner" with This Old House 2, because envy is a sin!  I love this gal.  She has stuck with me, through thick and thin.  I can't say enough nice things about her.  She made my rose header, after seeing a rose and thinking about me.  She recently started a new blog site and doesn't have the transformation of the "Old House" from the beginning, nor, all the fantastic photos she has taken of many, many things.  I can't wait for her to post more.  Karen, you are a very special lady to me.  Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

The rules for this one are to list 10 things I love.

 1.  I love my husband!  He is the kindest human being I know and  loves me, in spite of my faults and weaknesses. (and there are many)
 2.  I love my children! 
 3.  I love my grandchildren!
 4.  I love coffee.
 5.  I love mountains.
 6.  I love the beach.
 7.  I love naps.
 8.  I love an occasional margarita.
 9.  I love sweets, especially chocolate.
10. I love back rubs.

I love all the blogs I follow, but am only going to pass this to one.  Without her advice and encouragement, I would have stopped blogging a long time ago.  She is my very special Blog Whisperer.  This one is for Laura, at The Girl Next Door Grows Up.

Last, but certainly not least... I've been crowned and certified a Crazy King, by Ashley at Our Journey Begins, as The Kings and Stupid Girls.  Ashley, I love ya and I'm keeping this one, for myself.  Call me crazy, call me selfish, call me whatever you want.  I consider this a huge honor and it makes me feel kinda special.  THANK YOU, SWEETIE!"  I will post it with pride and a smile. 

The End... Now go forth and multiply!

Sunday, May 16, 2010

It's Been A Year!

Can't believe a year of blogging has come and gone.  It was just around this time last year, that I decided to give it a whirl.  Must admit it was me that got whirled on at least one occasion, but that's just the way the old mop flops.  Sorry, guess I had "mop" on the brain, since I just tried to mop my kitchen.  It's going to take much more than a mop to get the ground in crap up, possibly a jackhammer.  If anyone has a spare maid layin' around, send them my way.  Afraid I'm not very domestic anymore.  When the kids moved out of the house, I retired.  I do good to keep a path cleared from the coffeepot to the potty.  Besides, being a frequent commenter to my blog friends takes time and there isn't much left over to do something that will just need doing again, quicker than you can blink.  I'll stick with the more important stuff, thank you very much.  Thanks to everyone that has made this year special and especially the ones who have become more than just another blog to read. 

Along with the passing blog year, seems another birthday has crept up again for my youngest Son.  I keep telling my kids that their birthdays are making me old, but they just keep having them.  Slow down already!  Wasn't it just yesterday that I was giving birth to my little 9lb-3oz "Special Angel" baby?  Feels like it.  My body hasn't even recovered and here you are turning 31!  When you strike it rich, you can pay for the tummy tuck, mister. (have them suck out a few extra pounds while you're at it)  I'll allow you to coordinate with your siblings on the face lift, boob job and bladder suspension.  The butt lift can wait, I sit on it too often to consider stitches.

All joking aside... kinda... you are just as wonderful at 31, as you have always been.  Thank you for a blessed 31 years, and not one of those years, even in your teens, have you ever been ashamed to tell me you love me, kiss me hello and goodbye and provide the best hugs a mother could ever hope for.  Momma loves you very much!  Papa does too, but this ain't his blog and he doesn't even read it, so I get to say what I want.

Here's hoping your birthday is rain-free, the lasagna is filling (and I can remember how to make it) and the water is not too cold.  Please bring your own towel, Momma hates doing laundry.  

               "HAPPY BIRTHDAY, I LOVE YOU!"

               Who could resist that sweet face?

                  Ready to go play on the beach

         You and little sister, Halloween at school

                               With Honors 

                          Recent - Photo Booth

Thursday, May 13, 2010

My Dad

On May 13, 1997, a little over 3 weeks after losing my Mom, I lost my Dad.  We had a tough couple of years after he was diagnosed with cancer.  He had always insisted on being the caregiver for Mom. 

Dad had a terrible childhood.  He lost his mother when he was 5.  His father was a decorated veteran of World War I, that became an alcoholic.  He and his younger sister were raised by his aunt and uncle, who had children of their own.  Times were hard and he didn't feel loved, or nurtured, mostly just a burden.

He dropped out of school at 16, lied about his age, joined the Army and shipped off to Europe.  While there, he was blown up by a mine and was listed as missing in action, presumed dead.  Ended up in hospital, wounded from the explosion and carried shrapnel and scars, but told amazing stories of how they put maggots on his wounds, to eat away the dead flesh.  He was awarded a Purple Heart.

After being discharged, he came home, finished school and went to business college.  He used to tell stories of having a pet groundhog and taking it all over town with him, even to the ice cream parlor where he met my Mom.  I seem to recall him saying the groundhog hibernated too close to a train track and when trying to rouse, was run over and killed.

When a group of friends heard about possible employment opportunities at the Paper Mill in Texas, he agreed to drive them, since he had a car.  During this time, he was hired to work, and my Mom was hired as well, based on her work reputation.  He swore he would never move back to North Carolina, and though he visited regularly, he left his troubled past behind, refused to look back and barely spoke of it.

There is so much I don't know about this intelligent man and now the opportunity is gone.  We truly believe he lasted long enough to see that his wife, my Mom, was taken care of, so he could leave nothing unfinished. 
                              far right... what a baby face

I miss you, Dad.  You would love your great granddaughters, they are something else! 

Friday, May 7, 2010

Empty Nest - Mother's Day

I gave you life
I watched you grow
How was I
To ever know
That when you left
You'd take my heart
It stays with you
When we're apart

It seems like an eternity
Between the times
You're here with me
I miss the days
When you were small
Now I hardly see you
Much at all

A treasured card
Sits in a frame
I've kept them all
They bear your name
The cards are special
You can see...

...But it's "YOU" that means
So much to me.

Thursday, April 29, 2010

Death Warmed Over and Awards

Survived 4 days with the girls and 6 days with the MILs dogs and now, of all times, I'm sick.  I've never suffered with seasonal allergies and if this is what it's like... I feel sorry for anyone that does.

The dogs got picked up Tuesday morning and I was looking forward to being able to get some rest, without one of them up my butt. (the dogs, not the girls)  We had a terrific weekend, even if they don't keep the same hours I do.  Went to the playground next door, on Saturday.  The weather was beautiful and the dogs didn't bite anyone, including the boy that insisted on petting them, even after I told him they weren't too friendly.  Reminded me of the many times I've heard a parent say... "My kid won't eat that"... then they do and totally make a liar out of you!  I'm sure the kid on the playground thought I was a liar.  I kinda felt like choking the dogs, for not biting him.

Hubby worked nights, from Friday evening until Tuesday morning.  On Monday morning, he started complaining his throat was sore and feeling swollen and irritated.  Having had an exposure to noxious chemicals at work, I thought it was just the aftereffects.  Within a few hours, my throat was irritated and driving me crazy.  I can't tell you how much illness I've been exposed to over the past year, without getting sick.  Not sure if the changing winds blew something in, or what, but I have coughed so much, my ribs are killing me.  I feel like I've been drug through a knothole, backwards!  Every time I cough, I was trying to hold my ribs, to keep them from breaking.  Ended up binding them, so I didn't have to keep trying to hold them.  Don't laugh, it has helped.

Guess I should be thankful this didn't come on while the kids were here.  I'll be even more thankful when I feel better and can play catch up on the rest I didn't get, while dog and kidsitting.

Since my last post, I received two awards.  Same award, from two different people.  Both are fantastic!

Momma Fargo, the fantastically funny female cop, that refers to herself as the popo.  If you don't already know her, stop in and introduce yourself.  If you go and get yourself arrested... DO NOT IMPLICATE ME!  Whatever you did, I wasn't involved.  Perhaps she will give you a ride in her new cruiser, if you ask nicely... or break the law.  Do not mess up the seats, please. 

Veteran Kindergarten Teacher will tell you amazing stories of her experience with kids and teaching for a whopping 34 years.  Just be sure you don't start talking about snakes, or you might send her into orbit. And no, you may not borrow her terrarium for the summer, so don't ask.

Please, if you haven't met these two ladies, stop in and say hello.

Since I'm feeling like death warmed over, I'm doing good to finally thank these two wonderful blog buddies.  I'm not going to be passing these on, at least not yet.  Maybe later, when I'm feeling better and have a better grasp of this new WHITE beast of a laptop, with NO MOUSE!  Right now I'll just settle for getting out a post, period.

To the new followers that I haven't located, thanks for following.  Stop in and leave a comment, so I can find you.  To the new visitors that left comments, thank you for stopping in.  Comments on any posts are wonderful and I would especially like to thank everyone that commented on the post about my Mom.  I'm sure she smiled at each one.     

Sunday, April 18, 2010

Someone Special

Please bear with me on this post, as I struggle to tell you few things about someone very special.   

Born in the mountains of Western North Carolina, on December 21st, 1921, she didn't have an idyllic childhood.  Dragged back and forth, from her home to her grandparents, when the domestic battles were raging.  She was the sensitive one, unsure of herself.  Her younger brother, the fairer of hair and skin, was the apple of his mothers' eye.

Walking home from school one day, she was eight, he was six, when he bounced ahead, eager to show his report card to his mother, who was confined to bed, deathly ill.  That's when it happened.  A logging truck struck and killed him... right in front of her.  Her only sibling, gone.

From her bed, the mother has a "premonition" and stumbles out the door, running toward her son, somewhere in the distance.  She passes out before the confirmation has a chance to reach her.  The mother knows.  After her brothers' death, it was suggested her mother be institutionalized.  The son appeared to his mother and said, "Momma, I'm alright, I'm happy."  The mother recovered, but the little girl was very traumatized.  She refused to go back to the same school.  Couldn't bear to walk the same route that held the unbearable memories of her tragic loss.

She lost her grandfather, cut in half by a train. 

She had a nervous breakdown.

She survived Scarlet fever and a ruptured appendix, when medical care was much less advanced.

An early beau, flew his plane over her home, dropped out a few belongings, before crashing and killing himself.

Then came the lifeline... she went to work at the Paper Mill, where she also experienced her first indoor toilet.  Work helped her find purpose in her life.

She got married and relocated, to work for the Paper Mill in Texas.  After arriving and getting the required physical and chest x-ray, which led to more testing, she was diagnosed with Hodgkins disease.  She was given 6 weeks to live.  She underwent treatment and survived.

She was told she would never be able to have children.  It took seven years before she had her first and another 5 plus, before she had her second.

In 1972, after enduring a series of falls and being treated for an inner ear infection, she was diagnosed with a brain tumor the size of a small grapefruit, between her left and right lobe.  She took a 6 month medical leave to undergo surgery, not knowing what to expect after.  Would she speak, walk, be able to see, have any memories, or even partial memories?  The odds were against her being without some type of disability, due to the massive size.  She endured 10+ hours of surgery, where she had holes drilled in her skull and was cut from ear to ear across the top of her head, for a section of skull to be removed to access the tumor.  She did a brief stint with physical therapy while still in the hospital, was released and back to work a month later, stark bald, refusing to wear a wig because she said it was itchy and uncomfortable.

She retired after 40 years working for the Paper Mill, only to begin her golden years with more health issues.  Several years of medication for what they diagnosed as Parkinson's disease, was later diagnosed as Progressive Supranuclear Palsy. 

She lost her ability to read, which she loved with a passion.  Later, she lost the ability to walk without help.  This very modest woman had to depend on someone to help her go to the bathroom.  Eventually, even a trip to the bathroom was out of the question and she was reduced to wearing diapers.  She could no longer eat without choking, she could barely speak and was hard to understand.  She couldn't scratch an itch or move on her own.  Body contorted, one leg and one arm drawn up, fingernails digging into her palms. 

She had a permanent feeding tube inserted in her stomach for nutrition, without anesthesia. 

When she left the hospital the last time, she came to live with me, as her husband was dying of cancer.  Never, to my knowledge, did my Mother ever say "why me?"  She had a terrific sense of humor and could even muster a demonic sounding laugh during what I would have considered "major" indignities. 

She was brave beyond belief. 

She passed away on April 18th, 1997. 

Mom, I love you and miss you!


Friday, April 9, 2010

April 9, 1982

Twenty eight years!  Seems impossible.  Time certainly has a way of slipping by, whether we like it, or not. 

I have a very hard time dealing with the fact I have no children at home.  My happiest times were when my children were young and I was attempting to be supermom.  Granted, it was hard... but, oh how I miss it.

My beautiful, amazing, strong, loving, forgiving, wonderful daughter, turns 28 years old today.  She's my fourth child and only girl.  How I thank God for her!

She listens when the words are hard for me and struggles through my tears with patience, compassion and understanding.

She has provided me with two of my wonderful granddaughters, "Twink" & "Tink" and allows me the opportunity to share my love.

She has a much greater ability to forgive, than I do.  (she obviously inherited that from her Daddy)

She has a strength about her that I do not possess.  (must get that from Daddy, too)

She refuses to let the bad times keep her down... and she's had some bad times and her share of heartache.

Baby Girl, and yes, I can still call you my baby girl, because no matter how old you get, you will always be my baby... I Love You and wish you a very Happy Birthday!

Since my photo app and MP Navigator still aren't available, I'll have to post a couple of pictures I swiped off my MySpace.  Wish I was able to put some other ones on here, but I'm afraid they will have to wait.


Sunday, April 4, 2010

A Twofer!

Did I mention being a little behind? Recently, Bendigo @ Bendigo's Rage, passed on a Beautiful Blogger Award.  Today, I received one from Patrick Tillett.  Both of these gentlemen are wonderful writers and nice as all getout.  If you don't know them, you simply must go find out for yourself.  Nothing I can say would do them justice, trust me.  Thank you both!

Here are the award rules:
1. Thank the person who gave you this award (that would be me, include a link).
2. Share 5 things about yourself.
3. Pass the award along to 5 bloggers (more or less) who you have recently discovered and you think are fantastic! Include links to their blogs.
4. Contact the bloggers you've picked and let them know about the award. 

*(I'm bending the rules here by not contacting the ones I've picked.  If they follow, they can be pleasantly surprised, or even not so pleasantly surprised, depending on their mood) (plus, I'm exhausted, hungry, need to catch up on your posts this is hard work)
6. Copy this Award onto your blog (linking it to me) 

*(Feel free to bend the rules as you see fit, I usually do)

Once again, I will struggle to tell you five things about myself.  I'm afraid I don't do this at all well, because frankly, I don't see myself as the least bit interesting. 

1.  When I was a young girl... so long ago,
     I was a competitive roller skater.
2.  During my rink rat days, I had fabulous
3.  When my children were young, I
     I coached roller skating and my
     children were quite good.  I'm proud
     to have been a part of their skating
     careers.  Most of their younger lives
     took place at the rink.
4.  I left coaching when my body and brain
     could no longer keep up.
     Unfortunately, this also ended my kids
     skating and I often wonder just how far
     they could have gone.
5.  I don't have great legs anymore.

Passing this award will be hard.  Everyone deserves to be noticed and appreciated for their efforts.  I have a really hard time choosing, since I enjoy all the blogs I follow.  Each are different and unique.

Please allow me to introduce you to a personal friend.  She has been blogging much longer than me, and is just starting back after battling breast cancer.  She has deleted her past posts, so you can start over with her, on her journey back.  She is a wonderful writer, please help me encourage her to get back in the game.  You can find her @ The Right Wing Extremist Housewife.

Also, some new ones I'm getting acquainted with:
Dr. Soosie
Bossy Betty

If you don't already know them, drop in and say hello.

Thank you, again, Bendigo and Patrick!

Friday, April 2, 2010

A Little Behind

No, I don't have one! (a little behind)  What I have had is a rough couple of days.  Started Tuesday evening, anticipating having to wake up to the alarm clock Wednesday morning.  Just knowing this made it nigh on impossible to get to sleep.  When I'm able to sleep, I hate being startled awake with some horrifically annoying, blaring noise.  A jarring reminder that I'm still alive, since my heart is racing, trying to jump out of my chest.  Somehow, this doesn't make for a great start.

Hubs is always up at the butt crack on his days off, just to make me look bad morning person that he is.  He's usually playing with the mistress music, on the computer, whistling, or some other such nonsense.  The coffee is usually made, thank goodness!

Grabbed some coffee Wednesday morning, headed straight to the bathroom in an effort to paint my face, so as not scare the life out of people on the outside world.  It never works, but I had to settle for doing the best I could, with what little I have.  Made it for the appointment to have our taxes done. (no, we don't do it ourselves, it's too darn complicated and we don't want to be held responsible if we screw it up)  We survived and were out of there before noon.  Went to the diner to grab some breakfast, which never happens that early in the day.  Stopped by an antique shop so Hubs could feed the mistress to browse and I could skulk around, feeling contrite.

Having survived the early day and feeling rather pleased, we headed home and I planned to catch up on blogs and emails and generally laze around.  No such luck.  Barely made it in the door, when my Daughter calls crying, in a major panic.  I can hear "Tink" in the background, wailing in a sound that can't be described.  Poor baby had already been to the doctor earlier that day, running a high fever, congested, coughing and had an ear infection.  She had fallen asleep after the ordeal and woke up screaming with shoulder/neck pain.  Don't even remember driving over there, it's a total blur.  Luckily it's only about 5 miles.  Fortunately, Hubs was able to pick "Twink" (her sister) up at school and bring her on home, and in all the hubbub she wasn't forgotten.

That child was SO sick!  Felt like I was having a flashback to my younger days, as a mother with young kids, struggling when the inevitable sickness happened.  Dreading the nighttime, when the fevers always seem to rise.  Wishing the medications would work their magic quickly and ease the suffering... theirs and mine.

What a difference a day makes!  "Tink" is nothing like yesterday, thank you Lord.  No fever, no pain.  Still snotty and coughing, but on the mend.  Mommy and Granny survived, too.

Managed to get on here some, in between the chaos and having to share the computer, still.  That white laptop is sounding sweeter and sweeter, in spite of the color.  During the time away, I've managed to get more than a little behind.  I'm still trying to catch up.  I will, eventually.  Don't know how you BIG BLOGS manage.  Crap, I'm small and already there doesn't seem to be enough hours in the day, to read, comment and post.  Don't think I'll ever be able to post every day.  Think I prefer you deciding the topic and all I have to do is read and comment.  Heck, that's a full time job!

Thanks to the new followers!  Still haven't located a couple of you, since you didn't leave comments.

Bendigo, I haven't forgotten you, either.  I'm going as fast as this tired old woman can go.

Jenny, as soon as I get the birdies and my photo application going, I'll post.

Now, I'm off to read and comment to each of you, for as long as I can keep my eyes open.  Thanks everyone!   

Saturday, March 27, 2010

Always An Uh Oh!

Trying to learn not to get excited over things.  Hard for someone who scrutinizes things nine ways to Sunday.  What might happen?  Who will be effected?  What else will this cause?  Don't count your chickens, before they hatch... ripple, ripple... just the usual things that go through my mind.

Been waiting for a good while to get the MAC up to snuff, more memory, etc... AND to get my new laptop.  Was supposed to get it last weekend and that went south.  This weekend, my computer guru was going to be busy, so he decided to come out after working all day Thursday.  He gets here around 7pm and begins opening the shipping box containing parts and whatnot, as well as my new laptop.  Decides he will do that first, since it will be the easiest.  Opens the box and low and behold... the laptop is WHITE!  We're talking BRIGHT WHITE!  Crap, I couldn't even find the coffee maker I wanted in white and we ended up having to get black.  Now, you can't even see the coffee!  Black, metallic, stainless steel looking everything nowadays.  Had absolutely no clue this laptop would be white.  White will not last 5 minutes in this house and will stick out like a sore thumb where I had intended to put it.  Already, I'm not a happy camper.  Next step, attach the wireless router to the modem.  EEEENNH!  Not happening.  Seems the wireless router won't work on my thingamajig.  Back in the box it goes, to be shipped back and upgraded to the higher priced one.  Oh well, I've waited this long.

Next up on the agenda, the MAC.  He gets out the whatchamacallit to save everything on and can't get it to start collecting my stuff.  That was the next problem.  Off to the store to buy a USB cord, that he didn't have with him and didn't think he would need and we didn't seem to have around here.  First store didn't have one, second store did.  Manages to get that show on the road.  Process didn't take long, like my brain, there wasn't much in there.  Opens the MAC, adds the RAM without any problem.  Whew, I was sweating that one, even though he was confident.  Begins transferring saved data back and it's a blur from there.  Things didn't go well.  Stuff started to spit, sputter and spew.  Everything seemed to be in slow motion.  Instillation had to be restarted.  More slow motion.  He's tired, I'm overly anxious.  He has to go to work Friday morning and may not get any sleep at the rate things are going... or not going.  Finally managed to get things on track, but my photo application isn't here.  Crap!  Printer has to be reinstalled.  Crap, again!  All the software has to be updated.  Hummmmm!  It's that dark cloud that seems to hang around me.  Anyone that is anywhere near, will undoubtedly be effected by that cloud.  

Guru left for the long drive home around 1am.  Managed to update the software myself.  Still don't have my printer or photo application.  It will have to wait.  Everything looks totally different.  Must learn to get used to it.  Trying to be positive...


Thursday, March 25, 2010

The Rose

You could call me a night person.  My kids are grown, hubby is a shift worker and on the days he's working, he's gone about 14 hours.  I can do pretty much what I want, when I want to do it.  I log on to the computer when I get up and stay on it until I go to bed.  (except when I have to share with hubs)

I don't stay in front of the computer ALL day long, rather just walk in here, hit refresh and check to see if I have mail, or if someone has posted something new.

Imagine my surprise, when I came in the other morning around 4:30 and saw an email from a fellow blogger, left at 4:23.  I was shocked!  The subject said: Rose Header For Blog.  I opened the email and found the sweetest message.  She said she had seen a really pretty rose that morning and thought of me.  So she made my new rose header.  (and I was actually able to get it on here)  Thank you so much for thinking of me Karen @ This Old House.  It's people like you that make blogging worthwhile, and not just because you made my new header, but because you are a really nice person, even when you keep me in the sinnin' corner.  Because everyone knows... envy is a sin and that house keeps me green with envy!

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Tag, You're It

Seems Deborah, over at Fashion Plate-Hungry For Style, has seen fit to involve me in a photo tag.  Pretty much as soon as I read it, I knew there was going to be a little, bitty problem.  I knew the approximate time I got my digital camera and most probably was pretty sure what the first pictures would be.  I cringed a little bit and knew I was going to have to tweak it, ever so slightly.

My camera and computer are both rather old, for cameras and computers.  I got them both around the time my youngest granddaughter was born.  She's not at all old, for a kid, but... we don't apply the same age guidelines to technology stuff.

Back to my little story that is supposed to be attached with the picture...  My daughter was pregnant and since I had done a belly cast for her first pregnancy, I figured she needed one for the second.  After the cast was done (a major ordeal that involves a rather huge mess) and had time to cure, I set about to paint it.  Being the brainless person I am, I thought I would get all creative and make it look realistic.  Now I have pictures of that, but they are quite obscene looking.  So I will skip to the same belly cast, that was adjusted to preserve her modesty and my own.  The lighting was terrible, but that's what you get.  It's done in torn brown paper, which was a far cry from the first pregnancy cast, that was painted with clouds and butterflies and flowers.  I hope that doesn't scar "Tink" my youngest, too much.  

Here are the rules, even though I had to tweak them.  (hope you understand why)

1. Go to your first photo file and pick the 10th photo in it.
2. Tell the story behind the photo.
3. Tag 5 other people to do likewise.

To suffer with me, I am tagging the following:
1. Marla @ Butts And Ashes (ha ha back)
2. KW @ Some Things I Have Learned
3. GregoryJ @ Living My Life
4. Copyboy @ Not Worth Mentioning
5. Robyn @ RawknRobyns Gone Blog Wild

Your turn!  If I tagged someone that just got tagged, sorry.  I don't expect you to "play" again, so soon.  This is work, especially if your computer is as old as mine. 

Monday, March 22, 2010

Beautiful Blogger Award

Was supposed to get my new computer today, but somebody got schnockered last night and had a terrible hangover today.  Needless to say, it was not a good day for them to have to drive out AND think AND put up with me.  I'm stuck using my antiquated system.

GregoryJ, over at  Living My Life, has given me a Beautiful Blogger award.  Thanks Greg!  He has assured me he doesn't bite, so go visit him, pronto!

Here are the rules:
1. Thank the person who gave you this award.
2. Share 7 things about yourself.
3. Pass the award along to 15 8 5 bloggers who you have recently discovered and you think are fantastic!
4. Contact the bloggers you've picked and let them know about the award.
Now, I am supposed to tell you 7 things about myself, which will be very hard for me. (you can already tell I don't follow the blogging rules)
1.  I love being a wife, mother and granny!
2.  I obsess about everything.
3.  I hate leaving my house.
4.  I'm a procrastinator.
5.  I'm a lousy cook.
6.  I'm not tech savvy.
7.  I'm less than 5 feet tall.
The 5 people I'm choosing for this award are:
Tracie @ Stir-Fry Awesomeness 
JennyMatlock  (doesn't do awards... read anyway)
Karen @ This Old House
I don't read lousy blogs, so please check these out.
Can't begin to tell you, how many times my computer has frozen up during this attempt.  Please make it worth the time it took me.

To my computer Guru... please hurry!

Now I'm keeping my fingers crossed, hitting publish post and hoping I don't lose my hard work.

Friday, March 19, 2010

My Inner Weirdo!

My horoscope says...

Indulge your inner weirdo today -- no matter who's watching. If someone calls you on it, just smile and pretend than you don't know what they're talking about. They can't get along without your eccentricities.
You've had quite the time over the past few days -- the past few weeks, even. You can take a breath now, however, because the heavens have arranged a break in the action. And you're probably quite happy to hear about that. The higher-ups you've been dealing with lately are probably relieved, too, because if anyone can be stubborn, you can. Fortunately, they're fond of you.

I think most everyone who takes the time to blog and comment, has reasons for doing so.  No matter the reason, may we all find compatible comfort, in the packs we choose. 

Thanks to my new followers and the ones who have been here a while.

I'm definitely eccentric and I always hope the weirdo part, is in a good way.    

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

It's A Brain Thing

Frequently, I'm accused of over-thinking.   Rightfully so.  Can't help the way my brain chooses to work, when it chooses to work.  Having said that, there is a commercial that drives me to distraction.  One about hand soap dispensers.  Talks about germs on it.  Ummm, yeah... there are germs and other stuff on our hands, which is why we are washing them.  I certainly don't plan to touch the dispenser AFTER I wash my hands!  So, what's your point?  Why would germs on the outside, be a problem?  I get the whole, wash your hands concept, but really, this one is a little hard for me to comprehend.  Don't think I'll be buying one of those automatic soap dispenser thingys.  They can just keep bombarding the airwaves and I'll just keep thinking.


This is for Marla, cuz she's the best and she asked nicely.

                     For Marla and Amy


Monday, March 15, 2010


Don't lose your temper, Attila! You need figure out a better way to deal with anger!

No matter how much you care for them or how benevolent you are, being kind to someone can only go so far. If you're sure they've taken advantage of you, trust your intuition and don't let this continue any longer. Your future demands that you let go of all baggage, including anyone and anything that's held you back from moving toward the opportunities that await you. (which includes myself) Get the show on the road with a confident attitude and a happy heart.

This is my horoscope for today.  I found much irony in it and it couldn't have come at a better time.  This is the same advice I have been given by some wonderfully inspiring people.  Thanks to each of you.  To the one I lost, who was always encouraging and respectful when they came to visit my bloghouse, thank you, too, you taught me much.  I wish you no hard bad feelings.        

March 15th

Happy Anniversary, Mom and Dad.  Celebrating in heaven, since 1997.  I miss you.

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Letting Sleeping Blogs Lie

I'm going to use an analogy to describe the way I see myself and blogging.  I do not wish to offend anyone who chooses to read it.  I am even providing a key.

Blog Whisperer - Someone with understanding and knowledge as well as the ability to provide advice to others.  Who has a way of doing what they do, without disrespect to any breed, large or small.

Bloghouse - Ones own blog.

Blog Park - blogosphere

Pack - Followers

Peeing or Marking - Making comments

Sniffing - Reading, but not commenting

Chihuahua - Me

Chihuahuas are the smallest blog/dog breed, fiercely loyal and gets along well with other breeds.  Due to their small size and fragility, care must be taken to avoid injury from jumping off a tall surface, or stepping on them as they follow along at your feet.  They have also been known to cause injury to themselves, by charging after anything threatening, without regard for size differences.  While they may appear to shiver and tremble, it isn't always from fear.  Excitement, low blood sugar and discomfort are other possible causes.  Their small size makes them suitable in most any living arrangement.  They are alert and make ideal watchdogs.

While in my own bloghouse recently, an intelligent, larger breed, peed to mark some territory.  I yelped in surprise, then upon recognition, wagged to apologize for the yelp and received a growl.  I do not, for one minute, believe the intention was to rip me to shreds.  Nor were mine.

Ventured out to the blog park to socialize. Visited a pack members bloghouse, peed a small spot and was promptly bitten.  I lowered my head and was given a second bite, for being weak.  Chihuahuas are notoriously hard to housebreak, but with patience and the right method, it can be done.  (Instilling fear is probably not the best way to accomplish this)

Exhausted from trying to play with the big (blog) dogs, I retreated to my bloghouse to rest and recuperate, venturing out occasionally, to sniff some fresh air and being cautious not to pee in the wrong place.

This little chihuahua is well behaved.  She understands rules, boundaries and limitations, as well as exercise, discipline and affection.  She's learned a few tricks, which include... speak, sit, shake, fetch and... roll over and play dead.

Do not confuse rolling over and playing dead, with submission.  True submission comes from trust and respect and the feeling of protection from intruders or opposing pack members.

One of my young pups tried to explain me to a puppy pal... "If she likes you, she yaps, wags, sniffs and marks.  If she doesn't trust you, she is silent."

As long as I find more enjoyment than pain with blogging, I will continue.  There are some really wonderful people out there.  I read everyone I follow and will comment, frequently.  If I feel you need encouragement, I will be there to give it to you.  If I disagree, I will try not to comment.  If you encourage people to think and comment, but belittle them when they do, I will probably still follow and read, but will refrain from commenting.  I will never try to intentionally hurt someone with a comment or a post.  I may have the jaws of a Pit Bull, but never want to feel a need to use them here.  If you made it this far, thanks for joining me.  Hope to see you again, soon.  Feel free to hike or squat, pee or not.

Special thanks to my Blog Whisperer, Laura and my Guard Dog, Iggy and to each and every one of you, that choose to be members of my pack.