Thursday, February 25, 2010

God Bless You Andrew

May you find the peace in death, you were unable to find in life.  There will be those who won't understand how you could do something so painful, to the people you left behind.  There will be those who won't understand that depression isn't about choosing to be happy.  There may even be those, who choose not to forgive.  I won't be one of those.

I will pray for your death to:

Encourage people to try to learn more and have compassion, for those that suffer.

Allow a sufferer to reach out for a lifeline, and find the ability to hold onto it.


I will pray for your family and friends to accept that, while they may have a better understanding than most, your choice was your choice and is not a negative reflection against them.

God bless you, Andrew.  May you find peace, at last.

Joshua Andrew Koenig, 8-17-1968 to 2-25-2010.



30 comments:

Marla said...

Oh no....I am so sad. I had truly hoped they would find him before this happened. How very, very sad. Depression is a horrible thing.

Ms. Anthropy said...

Marla, depression is a beast! A horrible beast.

Kristy said...

Such a sad ending.

Ian said...

RIP

Blasé said...

He did what he needed to do, and I respect that. I understand. I personally believe that living/enduring this life at ANY and ALL detrimental costs is foolish.

Ms. Anthropy said...

Blasé, I agree. While I am not an advocate for suicide, sometimes the detrimental cost and torture is more than any soul should be forced to endure.

Kristy, if his death can raise public awareness for depression/mental illness... he may achieve much more than with his acting.

Ian, I hope so.

KrippledWarrior said...

having lost a younger brother to suicide, I must call a BS on you and blase! Unfortunately the only person who really knows what the true motivation behind such a great departure from life, took the real motivation with him. Even if he left a note. If suicide drew attention to anything it would have been solved long ago. Watch yor friends. Suicide can be contagious.

Ms. Anthropy said...

KW, that's your call and I'm sorry for your loss. As I said, I am NOT an advocate for suicide. However, if his suicide can raise awareness of depression and mental illness, it may serve a greater purpose than the wake it left behind. Suicide is tragic, learning and compassion, are not.

The Girl Next Door Grows Up said...

Oh that is so sad. Yes, hopefully something good can come out of his death.

KrippledWarrior said...

I didn't say you advocate it. I just said it serves no purpose. And that you don't and can't know what made him or anyone choose that way out. Dignity and escape from depression are not the only reasons people commit suicide. There's anger, hate, revenge, fear, honor, pain, drugs, love, rejection, disappointment, addiction, family loss, self criticism, stupidity, humiliation, persecution, and just having the wrong person disagree with you. Of course I could be wrong!
Do you see how those things would not be defensible as a "Choice?"

Ms. Anthropy said...

I chose not to get into a verbal fistacuffs, with someone who is obviously of higher intelligence than me. Suicide is never defensible and that wasn't the point of my post. The man suffered from depression and that I can understand. I wish him peace from his suffering. And I hope it raises awareness of depression and mental illness. Perhaps I chose the wrong venue to express my thoughts or perhaps yours matter more than mine. I will take this as another clue to shut up. Since this was new and still a learning process for me, consider me learned, teacher.

Blasé said...

Sometimes our emotions can get in the way of logic and common sense and cause us to be an extremist on an issue. I will give the man the benefit of the doubt and say he did what he needed to do.

You are correct, Ms A+

Ms. Anthropy said...

Blasé, I can't vouch for being correct, only that I have thoughts, as well as feelings. It is never my intention to hurt anyone by my posts or comments. With that said, I'm also learning to just read and keep quiet and enjoy what others have to say, without interjecting my thoughts into the mix.

Karen said...

Wasn't it sad news?... I had hoped they'de find him alive and well somewhere.

Depression is a horrible thing, especially when it runs this deep. My cousin was never able to shake it...and the way he took his life was to drink himself slowly to death. And he tried, Lord knows he tried...

Deborah said...

Ms. A, don't do that - we want your thoughts. We can agree or disagree, that's a good thing.

Some of us have a dark side and, for me personally, suicide scares me and makes me angry.

I don't want to ever go there, but maybe deep down can see how it can happen kind of thing?

I've also seen the mess left behind when those you love kill themselves. It's just not easy either way.

"In a real dark night of the soul, it is always three o'clock in the morning, day after day."
~F. Scott Fitzgerald

Ms. Anthropy said...

Deborah, suicide scares me to death too and I have seen what it does to those left behind. To agree or disagree isn't a problem for me. If I put something out here and it isn't taken the way I intend, or I offend or hurt someone, with my words... that really bothers me. Once it's out here, I can never take it back. Sure, I can delete it, but the damage is done. My mouth has said hurtful things, many times in my life. No amount of apologies can ever take them back. I never want my posts or comments to hurt or offend. Sure hope that made sense. Thanks! (and thanks for one of my favorite hot men this week! Just watched him last night, for the umpteenth time, in Finding Forrester... yummy!)

Deborah said...

I love you Ms A.

Please, do not keep your mouth shut.

I'm glad you enjoy some Sean as much as me.

Ms. Anthropy said...

Deborah, thanks, I love you too! I need to learn to (try) to put my brain (what's left of it) in motion, before putting my mouth in gear. It's a learning process and I seem to be learning disabled. I'm trying to work around it.

Blasé said...

Folks that matter will understand when you mess up with words, those that get offended weren't good for you to begin with. I agree with Deborah, nothing is gained on a blog by being quiet.

RawknRobynsGoneBlogWild said...

Ms. Anthrophy, I'm about to sign on as a new follower! I like your mindset, and this tribute is very sweet. Too bad it got so horribly derailed.
Rest in peace, Joshua Andrew Koenig.
Robyn

Ms. Anthropy said...

Blasé, while nothing may be gained on a blog by being quiet, much can be lost by words taken wrong.

Robyn, Thanks, I'm afraid that in order to have a mindset, it would require having a mind. I don't claim to have one of those. I'm feeling quite mute and fear I have created a firestorm, with far reaching tentacles, which was never my intention. Unfortunately, I care too much that my words be taken as I intend them, and they weren't.

SPEAKING FROM THE CRIB said...

wow you've got quite the little discussion going on over here. i'll just say it is sad for all.

Ms. Anthropy said...

SFTC, are you skilled in CPR?

Karen said...

I missed half that conversation. Who's blog is this, anyway... say what you want to say. Conversation is part of why people blog, doesn't have to be hearts and flowers and all in agreement... it's a -conversation-.

You're doing just fine, Ms. A.

Lisa Marie said...

Good bye Boner

Jilly said...

Ms. A is correct. In some people, suicide is not a choice. The person doesn't think about others and how they'll feel afterwards, he can only think of his desperation, his loneliness in a crowd. It's not a choice. I think that people who have not truly been in the valley of depression, maybe can't comprehend how someone could do it.
Ms. A, you have a kind heart, bless you.

Ashley King said...

I think your blog is a "safe" place to vent. and if anyone disagrees with your post, then can "safely" vent about their thoughts in their own blog. it's okay if people choose to share their thoughts with you, however you don't need to put your tail between your legs because of it.... you handle yourself with such maturity; it's respectable.

someone i knew from high school just passed away from a drug overdose. a girlfriend of mine shot herself in middle school.... you know, some people think that there are things we could do to prevent these types of actions, but we are not psychic. we do what we believe to be the best decision at the time. i agree that hurtful things cannot be taken back, and for that, we must choose our words carefully.

i don't think you are in the wrong for voicing your opinion. you are entitled to that. =)

Ms. Anthropy said...

Ashley, Thanks! I have a very hard time with my words, but will never try to hurt people. (even when my words fail me)

THE RWE HOUSEWIFE said...

Wow! Please, do not ever feel you need to censor yourself! This is YOUR blog! You did nothing but express compassion for this hurting soul. Having experienced both depression in my own life and the suicide of someone I love, I can say that all the possible reasons why- and all the emotions felt by the ones left behind are valid.

Ms. Anthropy said...

RWEH, You and I both understand it well. This post took on a life of its own. My only intention was to try to get people to have some understanding of people who suffer from depression and other mental illness. You and I both know much about that topic. Glad to see you out and about! I've missed you.